My box. It is my box. I live in it. I cook in it. I sleep in it. I watch tv in it. It is my box. Due to a chronic skin condition i cannot go outinto direct sunlight. The only sun i get comes from a small, small hole in the top of my box. Now that i think about it thats why the carpet is always wet when it rains.
The hole in the top of my box is the only light i get. As such i have to paint the walls black. Compelatly black. It must not reflect any light whatsoever. If it did my skin would melt off. I am traped in a dark dark world where nothing can ever happen. Im stuck here untill i can rid myself of this sickness. I wait untill the day that i can leave. The time where i will be able to move on. But the black walls press in ever so closely. Its almost as though they are trying to suffocate me. And they are! They are! They are pressing in! Oh save me light. You were to bright for me before! You were simply too amazing for me to stand. But what can i do? Become a slave to the light? Or do i drown in darkness? I must shed this skin...this skin that binds me to the dark world i have built up. I must break free! I will! I am! I am free...follow the light. I'm almost there. This is the first time i have left my box. My box. it has been destroyed. It is ash. It is burning. I no longer need the box. I have found the joy of light. Hello God.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Dual Posted from Blogdrive..cuz it sucks!
So im at college...and something...is wrong. Nothing is wrong. That is whats wrong. I feel...O...K? this is not possible. Something must be wrong! Something must be wrong with my brain! I must have bottled all emotion down deep inside so that i cannot feel anything. That is what must have happend. because i cirtanly cannot feel...O.K.
Haha. No im sure im fine. But it is strange, to be feeling alright when im at the place i loathed so much last year. Most of the year. I feel as though im ok. But i shouldnt me. I'm away from my friends, i'm away from my guitar, im away from the comforts of home, but you know what i think? God is with me. One conversation with Mark on the forum and The Word speaks to me like it did a year ago. My prayers are being answered. I feel alive in God again.
Girls...everyone has to talk about them on their blog once in a while right? God tells me things. What does he tell me about girls? Im not ready for one. He may test me...let me get close... and then blow it away. BAM! happend several times. he dosent even like me to get close anymore. I have alot of growing up to do before i can consider getting marryied and haveing kids. I know this. And im ok with that. I need to rely on God, he knows the right moments. I just wish i didnt have to have all these little crushes to tease me along the way! grrr to that!
Everyone take a moment....I...just bloged a blog...about girls...and did not want to shoot myself at the end...this...is...a first.
I would like to take a moment and have everyone trave backwards in time several years. 2002-03. Those where the years i was really into film makeing. I made all sorts of little shoot-em-ups with my brother. We had lots of fun doing them even if the movies were...less than blockbuster quality. All was made possible by a little program called...AlamDV. CSB Digital is the name of the company that made it. Its a small small internet based company based in England. Their latest encarnate of AlamDV is called..EffectsLab. They have some other video programs too. Now i have played around with EffectsLab and i must say...it is amazing. But it is not the program that makes good movies...no...good film makers make good movies.
With that i would like to direct your attention to NoControl Cinema. A German based small time company that made the longest top ten movie on AlamDv's website. Some may know this movie as..."The Test" Their latest project is called Nightcast. Its a batman esqe superhero movie i think. Im not sure for cirtan...but its been in production for years and is slated to be shown on the big screen. I learned of this movie back in my video days and was keenly interested.
2 Years later i am still interested in Nightcast...even if i have lost my interest in film. I checked on nightcast's production recently...they are almost done with postproduction and are shooting for a January release! If anyone else is interested i will be posting the link to Nightcast on the left collumn. The link to AlamDv's succsesor site has been there for some time now...it is called FxHome.
Im terribly sorry for the long post but i suddenly had alot to write about. Funny how that works sometimes. And with that...untill next time!
Haha. No im sure im fine. But it is strange, to be feeling alright when im at the place i loathed so much last year. Most of the year. I feel as though im ok. But i shouldnt me. I'm away from my friends, i'm away from my guitar, im away from the comforts of home, but you know what i think? God is with me. One conversation with Mark on the forum and The Word speaks to me like it did a year ago. My prayers are being answered. I feel alive in God again.
Girls...everyone has to talk about them on their blog once in a while right? God tells me things. What does he tell me about girls? Im not ready for one. He may test me...let me get close... and then blow it away. BAM! happend several times. he dosent even like me to get close anymore. I have alot of growing up to do before i can consider getting marryied and haveing kids. I know this. And im ok with that. I need to rely on God, he knows the right moments. I just wish i didnt have to have all these little crushes to tease me along the way! grrr to that!
Everyone take a moment....I...just bloged a blog...about girls...and did not want to shoot myself at the end...this...is...a first.
I would like to take a moment and have everyone trave backwards in time several years. 2002-03. Those where the years i was really into film makeing. I made all sorts of little shoot-em-ups with my brother. We had lots of fun doing them even if the movies were...less than blockbuster quality. All was made possible by a little program called...AlamDV. CSB Digital is the name of the company that made it. Its a small small internet based company based in England. Their latest encarnate of AlamDV is called..EffectsLab. They have some other video programs too. Now i have played around with EffectsLab and i must say...it is amazing. But it is not the program that makes good movies...no...good film makers make good movies.
With that i would like to direct your attention to NoControl Cinema. A German based small time company that made the longest top ten movie on AlamDv's website. Some may know this movie as..."The Test" Their latest project is called Nightcast. Its a batman esqe superhero movie i think. Im not sure for cirtan...but its been in production for years and is slated to be shown on the big screen. I learned of this movie back in my video days and was keenly interested.
2 Years later i am still interested in Nightcast...even if i have lost my interest in film. I checked on nightcast's production recently...they are almost done with postproduction and are shooting for a January release! If anyone else is interested i will be posting the link to Nightcast on the left collumn. The link to AlamDv's succsesor site has been there for some time now...it is called FxHome.
Im terribly sorry for the long post but i suddenly had alot to write about. Funny how that works sometimes. And with that...untill next time!
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